i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
