WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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