I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Let's paint friendship bongs
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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