His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
