TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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