I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
