I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I came so hard my ears popped.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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