Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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