I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
