# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
