Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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