when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
