i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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