Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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