whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
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Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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