): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
