Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
