I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He did a backflip because drugs
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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