When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize