i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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