Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
