So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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