i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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