super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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