What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
