All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
