Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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