Me too!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
