At least make sure they are 18
Why
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
