How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
