If i come over, it means nothing
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize