Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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