I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
