I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
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I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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