how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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