i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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