Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
