she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
