Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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