1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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