U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
