True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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