I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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