I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
