Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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