Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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