Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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