I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i was born a porn star she said
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
