can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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