I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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