i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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