he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
