Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
