Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
