you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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