How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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