Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
