You just made me feel so damn special
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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