not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
