This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
