I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
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Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
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We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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